Friday, November 6, 2009

"No Subject Mails" in Outlook


"No Subject Mails" in Outlook


Guys :
Forgot to mention subject in mail???

Forgot to mention subject while writing an Official Mail and feel bad later???????

Yes…. It's a concern for all…. A mail without a subject brings a bad impression on us.

To avoid this, just follow the simple steps mentioned below and see the result.


Here are the steps: -
1. Open your Outlook,
2. Press Alt+F11. This opens the Visual Basic Editor and then Press Ctrl+R which in turn open Project-Project 1 (left side)
3. On the Left Pane, one can see "Microsoft Outlook Objects" or "Project1", expand this. Now one can see the "ThisOutLookSession".
4. Double click on "ThisOutLookSession". It will open up a Code Pane on the right hand side.
5. Copy and Paste the following code in the right pane (Code Pane) and save it

Private Sub Application_ItemSend(ByVal Item As Object, Cancel As Boolean)
Dim strSubject As String
strSubject = Item.Subject
If Len(Trim(strSubject)) = 0 Then
Prompt$ = "Subject is Empty. Are you sure you want to send the Mail?"
If MsgBox(Prompt$, vbYesNo + vbQuestion + vbMsgBoxSetForeground, "Check for Subject") = vbNo Then
Cancel = True
End If
End If
End Sub

6. Now whenever u try to send a mail without subject, a pop-up is raised to remind you of the blank subject.

SLEEP Safe

Seeeeee how much u dependent on computer......

This is the proof that we have become too dependent on our computers.

Question:
Are you Male, or female?


To find out the answer, Look down....

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---




---




---




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Look down, not scroll down!

Ek Niranjan Title song, sung & written by a software engineer..





Hike ledu giftu ledu, pandaki ichhe bonus ledu, Ek Niranjan...
luck ledu, kick ledu, veliki intiki velle yogam ledu, Ek Niranjan...

Java radu, naku .Net radu
Perl radu, naku C++ radu
programming rane radu, hikes aneve levule,
onsite chancee ledu, promotions ravule.

Searching lo king ni, Na lokame google yee..
workunna, lekunna neneppudu yeah canteenlone

Hike ledu giftu ledu, pandaki ichhe bonus ledu, Ek Niranjan...
luck ledu, kick ledu, veliki intiki velle yogam ledu, Ek Niranjan...

Care of Canteen, product of bench, awara dot com.
ye Dham maro Dham, tons of coffee mana kathe ga problem.
Are project pere teliyade, naku coding ee radee.
yeee TL , Leadu leru le.. na mails evo naveee...

vachava chesava ani adigedhevvadule..
outings partlylu ani pilichevadevvadule..

Searching lo king ni, Na lokame google yee..
workunna, lekunna neneppudu yeah canteenlone

Head is aching, and its breaking, kali aithey anthe,
thats OK yar chaltha hai, I have a Saridon..
O paniki malina projects calls chesthayi lee..
mana style maname vatini reject chesthameee.

ivvalo repoo ane la mana bathake vundiley..
tesesthe inko company vundane vundiley...

Searching lo king ni, Na lokame google yee..
workunna, lekunna neneppudu yeah canteenlone

Hike ledu giftu ledu, pandaki ichhe bonus ledu, Ek Niranjan...
luck ledu, kick ledu, veliki intiki velle yogam ledu, Ek Niranjan...

Monday, September 28, 2009

Eng Vs Telugu : Rhymes

ENGLISH >>>> TELUGU

Twinkle Twinkle little star >>>> Merishe merishe oo chinna chukka
how I wonder what you are >>>> Naku samaj aitale neev endo
up above the world so high >>>> Bhoomi kelli anta paina
like a diamond in the sky >>>> akashamla vajram leka unav le

Jack and Jill went up a hill >>>> Jacku gadu Jillu gadu konda meediki poinru
to fetch a pail of water >>>> Kundala neelu teenike
Jack fell down and broke his crown >>>> Jack gadu kindavadi bok kal suram param cheskundu
And Jill came tumbling after. >>>> jillu gadu guda vani enakala vadi dorlukunta ochindu

Ringa Ringa roses >>>> Gol Gol tirige Gulab poolu
Pocket full of posses >>>> Jeb ninda posslu
Asha Busha all fall down >>>> Arre!!!! andar kinda vaddar le


Johny Johny,yes papa, >>>> Johnyga johnyga, endi naina
eating sugar no papa >>>> shakkar tintunava, ledu naina
telling lies no papa >>>> Joota cheptunav le, ledu naina
Open your mouth >>>> Jaranta nor teruv
hahahaha >>>> tersina choosko naina hahaahahah

Thursday, July 16, 2009

You can never be lost in Bangalore

HelloCool Stuff - you can never be lost in Bangalore any more.

Want to find a place and also (route map + video) then
check out www.vidteq.com

1.Click on " find direction "
2. Enter "From" and "To" place
3. Click on GO VIDEO

Enjoy the video

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

The one who is truly fortunate is constantly enthusiastic. When we
find things going wrong with us, we immediately find ourselves losing
all enthusiasm. We then do nothing to change our situation but just
begin to curse our fate. With such an attitude we can do nothing to
change our fortune. When things go wrong, we have to recognise the
fact that it is the present that is in our hands. We don't need to
think of what happened in the past and curse our fate. Instead we need
to fill ourselves with enthusiasm to make the best use of the present
to make our future the best.

TRACK U R FRIEND THROUGH HIS MOBILE NUMBER




Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Imagine ur self in a Sprite Ad

Your Colleague: Hey!! Kya yahan baitha mail forward karta rahta hai yaar !! Naye packages dekh.... Naye language seekh. Night out ....Fundoo programming kar like me....! Do something cool man !!

You : Achha! To usse Kya hoga ..

Your Colleague : Impression!!! Appraisal !!! Har appraisal main tu No 1! Hike in salary !! Extra Stocks

You : Phir kya hoga...

Your Colleague : Project Leader ban jaayega..Phir Project Manager !!! Phir Business Manager ! One day U will be a Director of the Company man !!

You : Acchha to phir kya hoga...

Your Colleague : Abe phir tu aish karega! Koi kaam nahin karna padega ! Araam se office aayega aur MAIL check karega.

You : To ab main kya kar raha hoon????

"Dikhawe pe na jao, apni akal lagao. Programming hai waste, trust only copy-paste "

Powered by ctrl C
Driven by ctrl V

Friday, June 26, 2009

Smile Please..!!

True love is like a pillow
u can hug when u r in trouble
u can cry on when u r in pain &
u can embrace when u r happy
so when u need true lovespend Rs.50/-
Buy a pillow
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Marriages are made in heaven then what are made in Hell?
Ans : the days after marriage
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

During Marriage ceremony why is the bridegroom made to sit on the horse ?
He is given his last chance to run away.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I wrote ur name on the sand ................
it got washed away,
I wrote ur name in air...........................
it got blown away,
So i wrote ur name in my heart..............
I got a HEART ATTACK
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

LOVE is like a CIGARIt starts with a fire.....
continues with smoke......
and ends in ashes...
But dont worry - we are chain smokers
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ur smile can be compared to a flower
ur voice can be compared to a cucko
our inocence to a child
but in stupidity u have no comparison u r the best
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Friend,
when i ask u flower,u give me bouquet
when i ask u a stoneu give me a statue
when i ask u a featheru give me peacock
ARE U REALLY DEAF ?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I had VODKA with WATER
I felt DRUNK
I had WHISKY with WATER
I felt DRUNK
I had RUM with WATER
I felt DRUNK
I SWEAR I'LL NEVER DRINK water....!!!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

when i call u;
1 ring means i'm thinking of u;
2 ring means i like u;
3 means i miss u;
4 means ...........pick d phone idiot
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher : four beautiful ladies are walking on the road. change it to exclamatory sentence .
Student : WOW !
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The human brain is a most outstanding thing.......
it functions 24hrs 365 days.....
it functions right from the time youu are Born.... until you fall in love
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SMILE - is a language of love
SMILE - is a source to win hearts...
SMILE - creates greatness in your personality
SO....Brush ur Teeth today onwards
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A cigarette shortens your life by 2 min..
A beer shortens your life by 4 min..
A working day shortens your life by 8 hours!!!!..
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

History Teacher : From where to where did the mughals rule ?
Student : sir, i am not sure but i think from page 15 to 26 sir.....
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Teacher : U failure ! @ ur age Bill gates stood first in the class
Student : Mind u, Sir, but @ ur age Hitler committed suicide

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Joke on the APRIL 1st ...


The Loving Husband - Humour

Several men are in the changing room of a golf club.
A mobile phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and begins to talk.
Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: "Hello"?
WOMAN: "Darling, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes"
WOMAN: "I am at the shopping centre and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $ 1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure,..go ahead if you like it that much.
"WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2009 models. I saw one I really liked."
MAN: "How much?" WOMAN: " $ 70,000"
MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing ... The house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $ 950,000"
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of 900,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 50 thousand. It really is a pretty good price."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!!"
MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."
The man hangs up. The other men in the changing room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape.....
He smiles and asks:
"Anyone knows who this phone belongs to?"

True Dedication

This is what u call dedication to one 's work........


If opportunity doesn't knock at your door, you go knocking at it…

Monday, June 22, 2009

Love VS Marriage

Love VS Marriage

Love is wonder ful par
Marriage is beautiful.

Love is dinner for 2 in your favorite restaurant.
Marriage is having a candle light dinner just the two of us no else to bother.

Love is cuddling on a sofa.
Marriage is honeymoon on that sofa everyday.

Love is talking about having children.
Marriage is having children.

Love is going to bed early.
Marriage is enjoying in bed till late night no one to
disturb and no hurry because both will be there in the morning no matter what.


Love is a romantic drive.
Marriage is romance and lovely drive thru out life time.


Love is losing your appetite.
Marriage is enjoying being in your appetite.


Love is sweet nothing in the ear.
Marriage is yummy everybody parts .


Tv has no place in love..
Marriage is enjoying popcorn with each other at home.

Love is 1 drink and 2 straws.
Marriage is 1 drink 1 straw.


Conclusion: "Love is blind, Marriage is superb!"

Toll free numbers in India

Dear Friends,

Toll Free Numbers in India ,Please forward it to all you know in India . Save a copy of this mail.

Airlines
Indian Airlines - 1800 180 1407
Jet Airways - 1800 22 5522
Spice Jet - 1800 180 3333
Air India -- 1800 22 7722
Kingfisher - 1800 180 0101
=====================================================================================================================
Banks
ABN AMRO - 1800 11 2224
Canara Bank - 1800 44 6000
Citibank - 1800 44 2265
Corporation Bank - 1800 443 555
Development Credit Bank - 1800 22 5769
HDFC Bank - 1800 227 227
ICICI Bank - 1800 333 499
ICICI Bank NRI - 1800 22 4848
IDBI Bank - 1800 11 6999
Indian Bank - 1800 425 1400
ING Vysya - 1800 44 9900
Kotak Mahindra Bank - 1800 22 6022
Lord Krishna Bank - 1800 11 2300
Punjab National Bank - 1800 122 222
State Bank of India - 1800 44 1955
Syndicate Bank - 1800 44 6655
=====================================================================================================================
Automobiles
Mahindra Scorpio - 1800 22 6006
Maruti - 1800 111 515
Tata Motors - 1800 22 5552
Windshield Experts - 1800 11 3636
=====================================================================================================================
Computers/IT
Adrenalin - 1800 444 445
AMD - 1800 425 6664
Apple Computers - 1800 444 683
Canon - 1800 333 366
Cisco Systems - 1800 221 777
Compaq - HP - 1800 444 999
Data One Broadband - 1800 424 1800
Dell - 1800 444 026
Epson - 1800 44 0011
eSys - 3970 0011
Genesis Tally Academy - 1800 444 888
HCL - 1800 180 8080
IBM - 1800 443 333
Lexmark - 1800 22 4477
Marshal's Point - 1800 33 4488
Microsoft - 1800 111 100
Microsoft Virus Update - 1901 333 334
Seagate - 1800 180 1104
Symantec - 1800 44 5533
TVS Electronics - 1800 444 566
WeP Peripherals - 1800 44 6446
Wipro - 1800 333 312
Xerox - 1800 180 1225
Zenith - 1800 222 004
=====================================================================================================================
Indian Railway Enquiries
Indian Railway General Enquiry 131
Indian Railway Central Enquiry 131
Indian Railway Reservation 131
Indian Railway Railway Reservation Enquiry 1345,1335,1330
Indian Railway Centralised Railway Enquiry 1330/1/2/3/4/ 5/6/7/8/9 =====================================================================================================================
Couriers/Packers & Movers
ABT Courier - 1800 44 8585
AFL Wizz - 1800 22 9696
Agarwal Packers & Movers - 1800 11 4321
Associated Packers P Ltd - 1800 21 4560
DHL - 1800 111 345
FedEx - 1800 22 6161
Goel Packers & Movers - 1800 11 3456
UPS - 1800 22 7171
=====================================================================================================================
Home Appliances
Aiwa/Sony - 1800 11 1188
Anchor Switches - 1800 22 7979
Blue Star - 1800 22 2200
Bose Audio - 1800 11 2673
Bru Coffee Vending Machines - 1800 44 7171
Daikin Air Conditioners - 1800 444 222
DishTV - 1800 12 3474
Faber Chimneys - 1800 21 4595
Godrej - 1800 22 5511
Grundfos Pumps - 1800 33 4555
LG - 1901 180 9999
Philips - 1800 22 4422
Samsung - 1800 113 444
Sanyo - 1800 11 0101
Voltas - 1800 33 4546
WorldSpace Satellite Radio - 1800 44 5432
=====================================================================================================================
Investments/ Finance
CAMS - 1800 44 2267
Chola Mutual Fund - 1800 22 2300
Easy IPO's - 3030 5757
Fidelity Investments - 1800 180 8000
Franklin Templeton Fund - 1800 425 4255
J M Morgan Stanley - 1800 22 0004
Kotak Mutual Fund - 1800 222 626
LIC Housing Finance - 1800 44 0005
SBI Mutual Fund - 1800 22 3040
Sharekhan - 1800 22 7500
Tata Mutual Fund - 1800 22 0101
=====================================================================================================================
Travel
Club Mahindra Holidays - 1800 33 4539
Cox & Kings - 1800 22 1235
God TV Tours - 1800 442 777
Kerala Tourism - 1800 444 747
Kumarakom Lake Resort - 1800 44 5030
Raj Travels & Tours - 1800 22 9900
Sita Tours - 1800 111 911
SOTC Tours - 1800 22 3344 =====================================================================================================================
Healthcare
Best on Health - 1800 11 8899
Dr Batras - 1800 11 6767
GlaxoSmithKline - 1800 22 8797
Johnson & Johnson - 1800 22 8111
Kaya Skin Clinic - 1800 22 5292
LifeCell - 1800 44 5323
Manmar Technologies - 1800 33 4420
Pfizer - 1800 442 442
Roche Accu-Chek - 1800 11 45 46
Rudraksha - 1800 21 4708
Varilux Lenses - 1800 44 8383
VLCC - 1800 33 1262
=====================================================================================================================
Insurance
AMP Sanmar - 1800 44 2200
Aviva - 1800 33 2244
Bajaj Allianz - 1800 22 5858
Chola MS General Insurance - 1800 44 5544
HDFC Standard Life - 1800 227 227
LIC - 1800 33 4433
Max New York Life - 1800 33 5577
Royal Sundaram - 1800 33 8899
SBI Life Insurance - 1800 22 9090
=====================================================================================================================
Hotel Reservations
GRT Grand - 1800 44 5500
InterContinental Hotels Group - 1800 111 000
Marriott - 1800 22 0044
Sarovar Park Plaza - 1800 111 222
Taj Holidays - 1800 111 825
=====================================================================================================================
Teleshopping
Asian Sky Shop - 1800 22 1800
Jaipan Teleshoppe - 1800 11 5225
Tele Brands - 1800 11 8000
VMI Teleshopping - 1800 447 777
WWS Teleshopping - 1800 220 777
=====================================================================================================================
Others
Domino's Pizza - 1800 111 123
=====================================================================================================================

Cell Phones
BenQ - 1800 22 08 08
Bird CellPhones - 1800 11 7700
Motorola MotoAssist - 1800 11 1211
Nokia - 3030 3838
Sony Ericsson - 3901 1111

Newton in Romantic Mood......

Universal law of Love:

" Love can neither be created nor be destroyed; only it can transfer from One girlfriend to another girlfriend with some loss of money "


************ *


First law of Love:

" a boy in love with a girl, continue to be in love with her and a girl in love with a boy, continue to be in love with him, until or unless any external agent(brother or father of the gal) comes into play and break the legs of the boy. "

************ *


Second law of Love:

" the rate of change of intensity of love of a girl towards a boy is directly proportional to the instantaneous bank balance of the boy and the direction of this love is same to as increment or decrement of the bank balance. "


************ *


Third law of Love:

" the force applied while proposing a girl by a boy is equal and opposite to the force applied by the girl while slapping ."

Jokes Unlimited

Teacher : What happened in 1869?
Student: Gandhi ji was born.
Teacher : What happened in 1873?
Student: Gandhiji was four years old.

***************************************

Question: What is the fullform of maths.
Anwser: Mentaly affected teachers harrasing students

***************************************

Teacher : Now children , if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him then what virtue would I be showing ?
Student : BROTHERLY LOVE

***************************************
Teacher : Because of Gandhiji's hard work what do we get on 15th August.
Student: A holiday

***************************************
Teacher :Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun.Everyone must attend it.
Raju:No ma'm! I will not be able to attend it.
Teacher :Why?
Raju:My mother will not allow me to go so far!!!

***************************************
Teacher:"Can anyone give me an example of Coincidence?"
Johnny:"Sir, my mother and father got married on the same day same time."

***************************************
Teacher: How old is ur father.
Sunny:As old as I am.
Teacher:How is it possible?
Sunny:He became father only after I was born.

***************************************

The boss who was on the 25th floor of the building called up the clerk on the ground floor for an important file. Since it was rather urgent the boss told the clerk it was an emergency and that he should hurry with the file. After more than 30 minutes the clerk appears all tired and panting for breath. The Boss asks him why he was panting and what caused the huge delay. The clerk replies, 'Boss when I went to the lift it said 'during an emergency please use the staircase'!!!

********************************

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Good Ones from Sardar jokes

Sardar: My mobile bill how much?
Call centre girl: sir, just dial 123to know current bill status
Sardar: Stupid, not CURRENT BILL my MOBILE BILL.

Sardar: I think that girl is deaf..
Friend: How do u know?
Sardar: I told I Love her, but she said her chappals are new

Teacher: Which is the oldest animal in world?
Sardar: ZEBRA
Teacher: How?
Sardar: Bcoz it is Black & White

Sardar: Miss, Do u called 2 my mobile?
Teacher: Me? No, why?
Sardar: Yesterday I saw in my mobile- “1 Miss Call".

Judge: Don't U have shame? It is d 3rd time U R coming to court.
Sardar to judge: U R coming daily, don't U have shame?

Question: "Should Women have Children after 35?"
Smart Sardar Replied: "No!
35 Children R More than Enough!!"

Sir: What is difference between Orange and Apple?
Sardar: Color of Orange is orange, but color of Apple is not APPLE.

Sardar attending an interview in Software Company.
Manager: Do U know MS Office?
Sardar: If U give me the address I will go there sir.

Sardar in airplane going 2 Bombay .. While its landing he shouted: " Bombay ... Bombay "
Air hostess said: "B silent."
Sardar: "Ok. Ombay. Ombay"

Sardar got a sms from his girl friend:
"I MISS YOU"
Sardarji replied:
"I Mr YOU" !!.

Sardar: Doctor! My Son swallowed a key
Doctor: When?
Sardar: 3 Months Ago
Dr:Wat were u doing till now?
Sardar: We were using duplicate key

Why Sardar opens his lunch box in the middle of the road???
Just 2 confirm whether he is going to or coming back from the office....

After finishing MBBS, Sardar started his practice. He Checked 1st Patient's Eyes, Tongue & Ears By Torch & Finallly Said:
Torch is okay"

Inspiration especially for you

Once upon a time there was a bunch of tiny frogs.... who arranged a running competition.

The goal was to reach the top of a very high tower.

A big crowd had gathered around the tower to see the race and cheer on the contestants....

The race began....

Honestly:

No one in the crowd really believed that the tiny frogs would reach the top of the tower.

You heard statements such as:

"Oh, WAY too difficult!!"

"They will NEVER make it to the top."

"Not a chance that they will succeed. The tower is too high!"

The tiny frogs began collapsing. One by one....

Except for those, who in a fresh tempo, were climbing higher and higher....

The crowd continued to yell, "It is too difficult!!! No one will make it!"

More tiny frogs got tired and gave up....

But ONE continued higher and higher and higher....

This one wouldn't give up!

At the end everyone else had given up climbing the tower. Except for the one tiny frog who, after a big effort, was the only one who reached the top!

THEN all of the other tiny frogs naturally wanted to know how this one frog managed to do it?

A contestant asked the tiny frog how he had found the strength to succeed and reach the goal?

It turned out....

That the winner was DEAF!!!!

The wisdom of this story is:

Never listen to other people's tendencies to be negative or pessimistic....
because they take your most wonderful dreams and wishes away from you -- the ones you have in your heart!

Always think of the power words have.

Because everything you hear and read will affect your actions!

Therefore:

ALWAYS be POSITIVE!

And above all:

Be DEAF when people tell YOU that you cannot fulfill your dreams!

Always think:

God and I can do this!

Pass this message on to 5 "tiny frogs" you care about.

Give them some motivation!!!

Most people walk in and out of your life......but FRIENDS leave footprints in your heart

To The World You Might Be One Person; But To One Person You Might Be the World.

If you fall down 10 times, Stand up 11 times.

"And remember GOD WILL MAKE A WAY WHERE THERE SEEMS TO BE NO WAY"

Friday, June 5, 2009

Best answer by B.E students during viva.....

This is best answer by B.E students during viva.
>---------------------> This one is for those who had nightmares during their Engineering Viva's (EEEs and ECEs). They bring back fond memories for those who care to smile at the past
************************************************************************************
Interviewer: Why is a thicker conductor necessary to carry a current in A.C.as compared to D.C. ?
Candidate : An AC current goes up and down (drawing a sinusoid) and requires more space inside the wire, so the wire has to be thicker.

************************************************************************************
External (to student) : "Why does a capacitor block DC but allow AC To pass through ?
Student: See, a capacitor is like this --- --- , OK. DC comes straight, like this ----------, and the capacitor stops it. But AC,goes UP, DOWN, UP DOWN and jumps right over the capacitor!" ------------------- good one : -
)

************************************************************************************
Interviewer: How will you tell if that wall outlet carries AC or DC?
Candidate: I will put my finger in. If it is pushed away, it is AC. If it gets stuck, it was DC.

************************************************************************************
Interviewer: H! ow will you reverse direction of an Induction motor?
Candidate: I will remove the four bolts at the x-ud, turn the motor around, and put back the bolts.

************************************************************************************
Interviewer: How do you start a synchronous motor?
Candidate: Vrrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm (in rising pitch)
Interviewer: Stop! Stop!
Candidate: rrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm (in falling pitch)

************************************************************************************
Examiner: "What is a step-up transformer?"
Student: "A transformer that is put on top of electric poles."
Examiner (smiling): "And then what is a step-down transformer?"
Student (hesitantly):"Uh - A transformer that is put in the x-udment or in a pit?"
Examiner (pouncing): "Then what do you call a transformer that is installed on the ground?"
(Student knows he is caught-can't answer) Examiner (impatiently): "Well?"
Student (triumphantly): "A stepless transformer, sir!"

************************************************************************************

TOP FACTS ABOUT ENGINEERS
************************************************************************************
Engineers at work:

Assignments solved by one and then carry out mass transfer operations throughout the class

************************************************************************************
The most important machine for Engineers:

Xerox Machine (Without which assignment Completion couldn't be possible)

************************************************************************************
Top two Engineering Rumours:

Did you hear the results are being put up today at 5:30pm Did you hear the exams are postponed by two weeks

************************************************************************************
Common Engineering Dialogues after a paper:

'What is this man, 60% o f the paper was out of the syllabus'
'This was the worst paper set in the entire engineering history' 'I am failing'

************************************************************************************
***********************************************************************************
What is B..E?


8 semesters
80GB syllabus

80MB we study

80KB we remember

80 Bytes we answer

BINARY marks we get,

The Degree finally we get is BE

That is Brain Empty (B.E)

Thursday, June 4, 2009

ONLY FOR ENGINEERING STUDENTS

Ques: We know that 2/10=0.2
but Prove that 2/10=2 ?
Ans : Normal college students insist Question is "OUT of Syllabus".
but Engineering Students replied:
2=two,
10=ten. therefore
Two/Ten = Two/Ten = wo/en.
w=23, o=15, e=5, n=14.
therefore w+o=23+15=38 & e+n=5+14=19
Therefore wo/en=38/19=2. Hence Proved
FOR, Engineers “ It doesn’t matter ans kya hai, they say ans kya lana he."

Long Live Bachelors

Long live Bachelors
Every man should get married some time; after all, happiness is not the only thing in life!! --Anonymous
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others.
--Oscar Wilde
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.
--Scottish Proverb
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
I don't worry about terrorism. I am married for two years. --Sam Kinison
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ------
Men have a better time than women; for one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier. --H. L. Mencken
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ------
When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why. When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ------
Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back to home always. --Anonymous
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----
I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary? " She said,"Somewhere I have never been!" I told her, "How about the kitchen?" --Anonymous
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
My wife was in beauty saloon for two hours. That was only for the estimate. --Anonymous
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off. --Anonymous
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----
She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" Following her down the street I yelled, "No, jump in." --Anonymous
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----
Badd Teddy recently explained to me why he refuses to get to married. He says "the wedding rings look like minature handcuffs... .." --Anonymous
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ------
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife yelling at the frontdoor, who do you let in first? The Dog of course... at least he'll shut up after u let him in! --Anonymous
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------
A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly parted mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, 'Why did u have to die? Why did you have to die?" The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so Deeply? A child? A parent?" The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied "My wife's first husband."
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ------
A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a coin. The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled "It really works ! "

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Once in a Lifetime mail...(I WANT TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL)

 

Once in a Lifetime mail...(I WANT TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL)

When

The school reopened in June,

And we settled in our new desks and

benches!


Whenwe queued up in book depot,

And got our new books

and notes!


Whenwe wanted two Sundays and no Mondays, yet

managed to line up daily for the morning prayers..

We learnt writing with

slates and pencils, and

Progressed To fountain pens and ball pens and then Micro tips!


When we began drawing with crayons and evolved to

Color pencils and finally sketch pens!


Whenwe started calculating

first with tables and then with

Clarke's tables and advanced to

Calculators and computers!


Whenwe chased one another in the

corridors in Intervals, and returned to the classrooms

Drenched in sweat!


Whenwe had lunch in classrooms, corridors,

Playgrounds,

under the trees and even in cycle sheds!


When all the colors in the world,

Decorated the campus on the Second Saturdays!


When a single P.T. period in the week's Time Table,

Was awaited more eagerly than the monsoons!


When cricket was played with writing pads as bats,

And Neckties and socks rolled into balls!


Whenfew played

'kabadi' and 'Kho-Kho' in scorching sun,

While others simply played

'book cricket' in the

Confines of classroom!


Of fights but no conspiracies,

Of Competitions but seldom jealousy!


Whenwe used to

watch Live Cricket telecast,

In the opposite house in Intervals and Lunch breaks!


Whenfew rushed at 3:45 to

'Conquer' window seats in our School bus!

Whilefew others had 'Big Fun', 'peppermint' ,

'kulfi', ' milk ice !' and 'sharbat !' at 4o Clock!

Gone are the days

Of Sports Day,

and the annual School Day ,

And the one-month long

preparations for them.


Gone are the days

Of the stressful Quarterly,

Half Yearly and Annual Exams, And the most

enjoyed holidays after them!


Gone are the days

Of tenth and twelfth standards, when

We Spent almost the whole year writing revision tests!

We learnt,

We enjoyed,

We played,

We won,

We lost,

We laughed,

We cried,

We fought,

We thought.

With so much fun in them, so many friends,

So much experience, all this and more!


Gone are the days

When we used

to talk for hours with our friends!

Now we don't have time to say a `Hi'!


Gone are the days

When we played games on the road!

Now we

Code on the road with laptop!


Gone are the days

When we saw stars Shining at Night!

Now we see stars when our code doesn't Work!


Gone are the days

When we sat to chat with Friends on grounds!

Now we chat in chat rooms......!


Gone are the days

Where we

studied just to pass!

Now we study to save our job!

Gone are the days

Where we had no money in our pockets and still fun filled on our hearts!!

Now we have the atm as well as credit card but with an empty heart!!

Gone are the days

Where we shouted on the road!

Now we don't shout even at home

Gone are the days

Where we got lectures from all!

Now we give lectures to all... like the one I'm doing now....!!

Gone are the days

But not the memories, which will be

Lingering in our hearts for ever and ever and

Ever and ever and ever .....

 

 

 

Regards

Harsha.P

"Count your life by smiles not tears,

  Count your age by friends not years"

 

 

 

 

Wrong Mail ID - Humour...

 

 

Wrong Email ID (True story)

A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife.

However, he accidentally typed a wrong e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.

Meanwhile... . Somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned from her husband's funeral. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting condolence messages from relatives and friends.

After reading the first message, she fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

 

To: My Loving Wife
Date: 16 May 2004
Subject: I've Reached

I know you're surprised to hear from me. I landed here safely. They gave computer here and we are allowed to send e-mails to loved ones.

I've just reached and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

Eagerly waiting for you!

Regards
Your hubby

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

---------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 


DISCLAIMER:
This email (including any attachments) is intended for the sole use of the intended recipient/s and may contain material that is CONFIDENTIAL AND PRIVATE COMPANY INFORMATION. Any review or reliance by others or copying or distribution or forwarding of any or all of the contents in this message is STRICTLY PROHIBITED. If you are not the intended recipient, please contact the sender by email and delete all copies; your cooperation in this regard is appreciated.

Father Joseph






Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Lallu -uaaa...applies for microsoft

Laloo Prasad sent his Bio Data - to apply for a post in Microsoft Corporation, USA.
A few days later he got this reply:


Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad,
You do not meet our requirements. Please do not send any further correspondence.
No phone call shall be entertained.

Thanks
Bill Gates.


Laloo prasad jumped with joy on receiving this reply.
He arranged a press conference : "Bhaiyon aur Behno, aap ko jaan kar khushi hogee ki hum ko Amereeca mein naukri mil gayee hai."
Everyone was delighted. Laloo prasad continued...... "Ab hum aap sab ko apnaa appointment Letter padkar sunaongaa ? par letter angreeze main hai - isliyen saath-saath Hindi main translate bhee karoonga.


Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad ----- Pyare Laloo prasad bhaiyya
You do not meet -----aap to miltay hee naheen ho
our requirement ----- humko to zaroorat hai
Please do not send any furthur correspondance ----- ab Letter vetter bhejne ka kaouno zaroorat nahee.
No phone call ----- phoonwa ka bhee zaroorat nahee hai
shall be entertained ----- bahut khaatir kee jayegi.
Thanks ----- aapkaa bahut bahut dhanyavad.
Bill Gates. ---- Tohar Bilva.

Dilbert: work life!!



Monday, May 11, 2009

ICC T20 2009 WorldCup Schedule

ICC T20 2009 WorldCup Schedule - London


There would be 4 groups

Group A Group B Group C Group D
India Pakistan Australia South Africa
Bangladesh England Sri Lanka New Zealand
Ireland Netherlands West Indies Scotland

Matches Timing and Schedule

England v Netherlands on 05, June 2009 in London Day night

New Zealand v Scotland on 06, June 2009 in London Day match

Australia v West Indies on 06, June 2009 Day mach in London

India v Bangladesh on 06, June 2009 in Nottingham D/N

South Africa v Scotland on 07, June 2009 day match in London

England v Pakistan on 07, June 2009 D/N match in London

Bangladesh v Ireland on 08, June 2009 Day match Nottingham

Australia v Sri Lanka on 08, June 2009 D/N in Nottingham
Pakistan v Netherlands on 09, June 2009 London day match

New Zealand v South Africa on 09, June 2009 D/N in London

Sri Lanka v West Indies on 10, June 2009 in Nottingham

India v Ireland on 10, June 2009

Super 8 T20 World Cup 2009 Match Schedule :

11, June 2009

D1 v A2 in Nottingham
B2 v D2 in Nottingham

12, June 2009

B2 v D2 in London
A1 v C1 IN London

13, June 2009

C1 v D2 in London
D1 v B1 IN London

14, June 2009

A2 v C2 in London
A1 v B2 IN London

15, June 2009

B2 v C1 in London
B1 v A2 IN London

16, June 2009

D1 v C2 in Nottingham
D2 v A1 IN Nottingham

Semi Final Matches

18, June 2009 1st Semi-Final

19, June 2009 2nd Semi-Final

Twenty20 World Cup 2009 – Final

21, June 2009 London

Weekly Status Meeting....

This is the s/w Engineer weekly report Meeting.
See and Njoy......... :)






What is Love ??????

Best Mail to read :-)*What is Love???*A group of 4 to 8 year-old Children was asked, "What does love mean?" The answers they gave were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. --"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday" (Tina - age 7)--"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night." (Clare - Age 5) --"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth." (Billy - age 4) --"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." (Rebecca - age 8 ) --"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs." (Chrissy - age 6 ) --"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." (Terri - age 4 )--"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." (Danny - age 7) --"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well." (Tommy - age 6 ) --"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore. That's love" (Cindy -age 8) --"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day." (Mary Ann - age 4 ) Love............ is not only made for lovers....... its also for friends who luv each other ........
Smile and spread some love today. :-)

Genies ------tooooo 2 goooooooood

Husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf.Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course. The husband shouted , "I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have apologize and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us." So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door. A warm voice said, "Come on in." When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side near the broken window. A man reclining on the couch asked, "Are you the people that broke my window?" "Uh...yeah, sir. We're sure sorry about that," the husband replied. "Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you. You see, I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes. I'll Give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last one for myself." "Wow, that's great!" the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out, "I'd like a million dollars a year for! the rest of my life." "No problem," said the genie. "You've got it, it's the least I can do. And I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life!" "And now you, young lady, what do you want?" the genie asked. "I'd like to own a gorgeous home complete with servants in every country in the world," she said. "Consider it done," the genie said. "And your homes will always be safe from fire,burglary and natural disasters!""And now," the couple asked in unison, "what's your wish, genie?" " Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle and haven't been with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to sleep with your wife." The husband looked at his wife and said, "honey, you know we both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?" She mul! led it over for a few moments and said, "You know, you're right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but what about you, honey?" "You know I love you sweetheart," said the husband. "I'd do the same for you!" So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other. The genie was insatiable. After about three hours of non-stop fun, the genie rolled over and looked directly into her eyes and asked, "How old are you and your husband?" "Why, we're both 35," she responded breathlessly. ……. ……….. …….



……
…..
"Really?! Thirty-five years old and both of youstill believe in genies?"

Coolest doubt in Mahabharata

In some remote village of India, one masterji is teaching theMahabharataStory to class 6 students.He is at the 'Krishna janma' part of it. Masterji: "Kamsa heard the Aakaashwani that his sister's 8th child isgoing to kill him.He was furious. He ordered to put vasudev n devki behind the bars. First Son is born, and kamsa kills him by poisoning... Second one is born n kamsa throws him off the mountain peak. Third one is born ...... Now JS, who is smartest of the lot, puts up his hand. "Masterji, I have a doubt" (sounding nervous n confused) Masterji: "JS beta, whole India does not have doubt in Mahabharata Then how come u have one?" JS: "Masterji, if Kamsa knew that Devaki's 8th child was going to kill him, WHY THE HELL DID HE PUT VASUDEV AND DEVAKI IN THE SAME CELL? " Masterji fainted..... ......... ......... ...

Am I with a right partner? - Nice Article

During a seminar, a woman asked," How do I know if I am with the right person?" The author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, "It depends. Is that your partner?" In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?" Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind replied the author. Here's the answer. Every relationship has a cycle...In the beginning; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything.
That's why it's called "falling" in love. People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU. Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being
together, the euphoria of love fades. It's a natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage. At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, "Am I with the right person?"
And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when relationships breakdown.
The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found. People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could.
And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this): The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found. SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner). Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are
also laws for relationships. If you know and apply these laws, the results are predictable. Love is therefore a "decision". Not just a feeling.

Remember this always: God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let GO!!

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Please don't let it happen!

AN AMERICAN VISITED INDIA AND WENT BACK TO AMERICA

WHERE HE MET HIS INDIAN FRIEND WHO ASKED HIM

HOW DID U FIND MY COUNTRY?

THE AMERICAN SAID IT IS A GREAT COUNTRY

WITH SOLID ANCIENT HISTORY

AND IMMENSELY RICH WITH NATURAL RESOURCES.

THE INDIAN FRIEND THEN ASKED ….

HOW DID U FIND INDIANS …….??

INDIANS??

WHO INDIANS??

I DIDNT FIND OR MEET A SINGLE INDIAN

THERE IN INDIA …….

My Friend said - WHAT NONSENSE??

WHO ELSE CAN U MEET IN INDIA THEN……??

THE AMERICAN SAID ……..

IN KASHMIR I MET A KASHMIRI–

IN PUNJAB A PANJABI—–

IN BIHAR,MAHARASTRA, BENGAL , TAMILNADU

I MET A BIHARI, MARATHI, BENGALI, TAMILIAN………

THEN I MET

A MUSLIM,

A CHRISTIAN,

A JAIN,

A BUDDHIST

AND MANY MANY MANY MORE

BUT NOT A SINGLE INDIAN DID I MEET

…………………………………………………………..

THINK HOW SERIOUS THIS JOKE IS……………..

THE DAY WOULD NOT BE FAR OFF WHEN INDEED WE WOULD

BECOME A COLLECTION OF NATION STATES AS SOME

REGIONAL ANTI-NATIONALS WANT ...

FIGHT BACK -

ALWAYS SAY WE ARE INDIANS……..



JAI HIND……….

Friday, May 8, 2009

S/W Engg NAADU Vs NEDU

Once up on a time:

@home town:

Cousins/relations/family frnds: enti babu weekend ani intiki vachava...s/w company lo Pani Chesthunav antaga....?? Baagane isthunattu vunaru ga.... inkenti settle ipoyavu kada... pelli sangathi enti...?? Entha lo vunnaru mi amma vaalu (katnam.)..? S/w engineer e kada bagane vundidi le Ni rate....

@hydbad:

Auto driver: Saab namaste sir....Randi sir kurchondi kurchondi...ekkadiki vellali... ekkadiki Ina min 50 rs/- meekenti sir...monthly oka 25,000 vastai kada... maku ichee 50 emi lekka le meeku...

House owner: enti s/w company lo Pani Chesthunava..?? ithe rent 7,000/- every three months ki meeku hikes (increments) vastai anta kada..so ade vidmaga ma intiki rent kuda 3 months ki okasari 750 increment anamaata.... ina ivi anni meeku oka lekka paada.... meeku 31st nite ki nite oka 30,000 vastai anta kada...

Shop owner: sir s/w employee ayyi vundi inka 25 rs/kg rice vaaduthunaru enti sir..... idigo s/w employees kosam 47 rs/kg rice sir.... asalu meeru atu itu thiriganavasaram ledu .....Thinna ventane ade digest ipothundi sir...asalike s/w vaalu oka chair lo ne kurchuntaru anta kada etu thiraga kunda....sir inka latest imported perfumes kuda vachai sir..okati theskoni velli try cheyyandi...taruvaatha meeku nachina flavours theskoni vellachu...ina mi daggara money ekkadiki poyyidi sir....

Now.........

@home town:
cousins/relations/family frnds: enti babu intiki vachavu....kompa theesi thesesara enti..?? aha ante emi ledu ee madya andarini thesesthunaru kada..andukani.. ina enduku ayya aa s/w job lu.. epudu thesestaro telidu,vunchutharo telidu... inka mi job ke security lenappudu inka meeru pelli chesukoni emi vuddaristharu... asalu meeku mundu ammai ni evaru istaru le...

auto driver: sir mari chi..chi veedini sir enti inka....idigo chudu thammudu ee auto velladu kani mundu ku poyyi bus stop lo nuncho.. nenu adiginantha iche situation lo nuvvu levu le kani..lite thesko......

House owner: babu memu illu families ki iddam anukuntunamu.... so meeru tvaraga kaali cheyyandi... ina batchelors ki intha pedda flat avasaram ledu anukunta....koncham chinna room lu vunte chuskoni...urgent ga emi kadu le..oka 5 or 6 days lo vacate cheyyandi...

shop owner: rey evaru akkada.... vachina vadiki enni kgs/rice(25 rs vi) kavalo chusi ichi pampandi..money isthene ivvandi....appu ledu ani clear ga cheppandi...
idi neti s/w employee jeevitham...

S/w employees aa ..??? Meekenti keka ani maku leni pogaru theppinchedi meere... inka mi pani ipoindi ga ani chulakana chesi navvedi meere...s/w companies kuda ninnati daaka velaki velu ichi eroju nunchi inka raaku ani enduku cheptaro telidu...INDIA lo aa employee ni reason cheppakunda theseshte vaala employee unions vurkovu... kevalam s/w employees ki oka union lekapovatame oka karanama..??